I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
