Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
