the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize