I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Randomize
