I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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