nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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