whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
