just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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