..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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