Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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