oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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