so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
