If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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