I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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