i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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