At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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