If that was your dad, he is hot
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
