Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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