I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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