ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
