Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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