Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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