No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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