Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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