did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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