Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
