just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
