I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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