Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
