I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
