I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
too bad you live with your parents still
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
