Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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