I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
