we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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