No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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