so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
