I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
