Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
