You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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