Porn is love you can see.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize