i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
