super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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