it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
