Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
