Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
