Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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