Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it's great music for shaving your balls
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
