I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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