Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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