My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
