dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
