Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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