I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
