Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
