So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Randomize
