Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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