Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
