he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
