I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
