well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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