Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
