the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
