Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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