i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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