Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
