we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
