Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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