just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
