Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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