careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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