yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Duck Duck Cougar?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
