i just google imaged poop.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
