There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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