In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
