apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
