what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
