yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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