I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
