I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
