I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize